Have you ever had a problem that you just couldn’t solve?
We all have.
So, what do we usually do?
We try and try to figure it out. We apply more pressure. We drink some coffee to get it done. We stare at the screen to get it out. We enforce more rules and restrictions.
I’m definitely guilty of this. In fact in a previous article, I recommended many of these “force” tactics in an article on pushing through resistance.
And now I’m saying that sometimes, it’s better to not do these things.
I’m a great instructional author, aren’t I :)?
The truth is with a lot of stuff in life, especially things that are based in emotions (and everything is based in emotions), the more you try to figure it out or force it, the worse things get.
It’s like when you’re trying to solve a problem at work, when do you get your best thoughts? For me, it’s when I’m not doing the work. I’m taking a shower, at the gym, playing drums, or just making food and randomly, something comes to me.
This is extremely hard for me to do. I love improvement, logic, and process…so the fact that I can’t nail this down is extremely annoying.
But often times it’s stepping away, getting out, letting your brain go, and giving yourself space that helps you do the thing.
Often times we overcomplicate to avoid things, or just make it all so hard when it doesn’t need to be.
I don’t really have a set of parameters or “how-tos” for this one unfortunately.
If you want to learn how to stop self-sabotaging behaviors like this, all I can say is that if you find yourself not making progress or forcing something…try stepping away and giving yourself some time and room to breathe.
The more you try to figure it out, the harder it’s going to be.