how to love yourself

How to Love Yourself: The Step-by-Step Guide

Noam LightstoneThe Avoider Mentality, Fear of Intimacy, and Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) 2 Comments

I think you and I can both agree that learning how to love yourself is HARD: It seems like everyone ELSE has it figured out. Everyone ELSE is smiling, laughing, and building amazing lives. And it makes you feel like you’re falling behind. How do you learn how to love yourself when you don’t know how? Maybe you’re like me, …

fear-of-relationships

3 Reasons Why Men Have a Fear of Relationships and Intimacy (…and What You can Do about It)

Noam LightstoneThe Avoider Mentality, Fear of Intimacy, and Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) Leave a Comment

Why do men have a fear of relationships and intimacy? This is at the core of a lot of the questions I get asked. The problem is, us guys aren’t even aware of the fear most of the time…until it’s too late. We either go through life never experiencing the opportunities and connections available to us, our girlfriends or wives …

avoidant-partner

Your Avoidant Partner: 7 Questions to See If It’s Time to Leave

Noam LightstoneThe Avoider Mentality, Fear of Intimacy, and Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) 5 Comments

One of the most common reader questions I get is someone asking if they should stay with their avoidant partner. I mean it’s a crappy feeling isn’t it: You really like or love the person and do care about them. But, you’ve got your own needs to look out for and deserve to be happy. You deserve to be with …

avoidant-personality-disorder-post

10 Steps to Overcome Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) and the Avoider Mentality

Noam LightstoneThe Avoider Mentality, Fear of Intimacy, and Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) 2 Comments

I was reflecting back on the past few years and how my avoider tendencies and issues with avoidant personality disorder still crop up from time to time. But the difference is that now I’m aware of them I can usually push through them. There are things I was EXTREMELY uncomfortable with that I’m now very open to — the biggest thing …

love-avoidant-attachment

Top 5 Questions about the Avoider Mentality and the Fear of Intimacy

Noam LightstoneThe Avoider Mentality, Fear of Intimacy, and Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) 4 Comments

As of writing this post, I have received almost 100 personal questions from people on this subject and in total, I’ve written back and forth with different people to add up to 100 pages of writing. It’s the #1 most popular article on this site and you can read the original here. It doesn’t seem like the questions are slowing …

avoider-mentality-and-fear-of-intimacy

The Avoider Mentality and the Fear of Intimacy

Noam LightstoneThe Avoider Mentality, Fear of Intimacy, and Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) 174 Comments

The insecurity and unknown burrows into your brain like a parasite, constantly clawing at you and never relenting. You hate the feelings of the unknown that cause the tightness in your chest, that choke your throat. You try to speak to them but it never comes out right, it never comes out as the way that you think it should …