How to Actually Achieve Your Goals – Search for the Process…Not the Event

Noam LightstoneSelf-Improvement Leave a Comment

When it comes to planning how to achieve your goals, you need to make sure you don’t fall into a trap most people do…

What am I talking about? In MJ DeMarco’s new book, Unscripted, he talks about how most people want to jump and search for the event of success vs. the process.

The event is what someone gets in the end, the goal. For example 6-pack abs, a million dollar business, a hot girlfriend/boyfriend, etc.

The process is the grueling day-to-day grind and sacrifices that you actually need to get there:

Saying no to ice cream and pizza while you eat grilled chicken day in and day out.

Manually sending out sales pitches, setting up systems to run the business, putting in consistent hours every day.

Approaching person after person, going to meet up after meet up, and dealing with rejection, heartbreak, boring dates, and bad people.

We all do this to some extent because of the event, the end goal is sexy. It’s easy to think about and be happy with.

But the process…well, it just usually sucks.

Ask Yourself: What is the Pain You Want to Sustain?

This is why Mark Manson asks “What is the pain you want to sustain?”, because any goal, anything you want to achieve, will require pain, sacrifice, and annoying grueling crap every day.

You might THINK that you want to be a rock star. But, if you don’t think you’ll find happiness in the hours of practice, playing in dive bars, and lugging equipment around…forget it. You’re in love with an ideal, not the process.

You might THINK that you want to be your own boss. But, if you can’t deal with holding yourself accountable, don’t like uncertainty, and aren’t self-motivated…you’re in love with the idea, not the process of closing clients and making things work on your own.

Before setting out to achieve your goals, think about what’s going to be involved. I assure you that it’s going to suck at least a bit and if you aren’t willing to put up with the pain and somehow enjoy it, you’re going to just give up.

How to Achieve your Goals – De-construct the Event Down to the Process

In this sense, if you’ve thought about some of the processes that will lead to the goal, you’re moving along to success.

The way you obtain what you want is somehow thinking about a repeatable routine, habit, or system that will lead you to your goal. I mentioned this in my post with Steve Scott, but you should think of things in terms of systems:

What system, or process, will eventually lead you to your goal or event?

Here are some examples:

Event: Getting a girlfriend or boyfriend.

Process: Approaching X people a week, going to X social events per week.


Event: $X in profit for your business in a month.

Process: Doing X pitches per week or getting X leads per week.


Event: Outsourcing and systemizing your business so you aren’t doing all the work.

Process: Putting 1 hour of work into creating SOPs or assets for the business that allows you to step away every day.


Event: Being a master at your instrument.

Process: Practicing for 1 hour a day.


Event: 6-pack abs.

Process: Sticking to your diet every day, cutting out sugars, alcohol, etc., going to the gym every day and doing your workout.


Determine the event or goal you’re gunning after, figure out the small steps or process to get there, and make sure you can put up with those steps and somehow enjoy them.

Make sure you don’t overload yourself with huge expectations and start small.

Small, sustainable victories every day lead to success in the future. 🙂

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